


Weight of the world

by espressowords



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Humor, Best Friends, Bromance, Emotional Manipulation, F/F, F/M, Friendship, Grief/Mourning, Kidnapping, M/M, Marvel Universe, Memory Loss, Mutants, Rescue, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-01
Updated: 2014-07-24
Packaged: 2018-01-21 13:00:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1551347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/espressowords/pseuds/espressowords
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky wants to remember things from the past, but at the same time, he doesn't want to feel worse. On his first official visit to Steve's apartment, he encounters something he wasn't expecting. Someone he doesn't know.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Soldiers

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time I do something this big, I have never mixed so many characters in just one fic (There are a few now, but there are more on the way). I hope you all enjoy the first chapter and give me your opinion!

He lays his back on the filthy walls, staring at the nothingness, pulling up his hair with his hands, trying to make him forget what he is starting to remember. The images that his own mind is flashing since he talked to his mission. Since he talked to Captain America.

The winter soldier has begun to remember. But he doesn’t want to. Or maybe he does. Maybe that’s what he really desires but he’s too afraid to do it. He knows that his name is not _winter soldier,_ yet he is terrified to refer himself as James Buchanan Barnes, his real name. He read things about that man. He read things about the man he once was and he cannot forgive himself for being the man he is now.

He has been spying on Captain America, his initial mission, for almost one month. He knows saving him back at the river was reckless and not efficient. He knows he betrayed his team, his creator and he wants to make it up. He wants to find the perfect occasion and finish his mission.

But that’s just what his head is telling him to do, his heart feels another way. His daily visits at the Smithsonian have just proved him that people can change and that he has definitely changed. Those visits just gave him another proof of the weapon he has become. Of the soldier he is now. And he wants to know more. He wants to know more about everything. Especially him. Steve Rogers.

That’s why he’s standing in the middle of the hall in front of his apartment.  He has been one hour standing there, observing if there are any movements, noises at all. But the house is chill. Either Steve is sleeping or he is not at home.

He decides to get inside his house and wait him there. Not that he hates to be standing still. Not that he hates to watch time pass. He just doesn’t want to be disturbed while waiting for the man who will be another nightmare to add to his personal list.

Once he puts his feet on Steve’s apartment, he studies his surroundings. The neatness, the photo frames, his film collection. Everything. And everything in that house reminds him of years and years ago. As if this was just a museum of an old replica of a house from many years ago.

He sits on the coach and stares at the floor as if that would make time pass faster. As if that would make Steve appear sooner than he is supposed to be. If he is supposed to come home. Because maybe he won’t come back after what happened. Maybe he has noticed Bucky following him and he has left.

“Did you just pass my security system?” A voice says from the back.

“Yes.” Bucky answers. He doesn’t move from the position he is. He just keeps staring at the floor.

“I was waiting for you.” Steve adds. He wants to sound nice, but after all this time, niceness is not something that comes easy out of his mouth. Even though Bucky is the one in front of him. “It was about time.”

“I thought you didn’t want to see me.” Bucky answers, his voice sounds restless, robotic.

“I _did_ and I still want to see you, Bucky.”

“Okay.” Bucky’s answers cross through Steve’s chest the same way an arrow would do. But not in the good sense of that phrase.

“Why now?” Steve asks. He doesn’t want to hurt him, but he’s way too hurt to ignore some basic stuff about Bucky’s new life.

“You.”

“Me?” Steve points at himself. “I am the reason why you came?”

“I want to remember and you can help me.” Bucky dodges Steve’s eyes every time he wants to make eye contact. He doesn’t want to see how bad he is, he doesn’t want to feel worse.

“I thought you didn’t want to remember.” Steve sits on the coach. Standing still in front of Bucky looks like as if he is lecturing him.

“I don’t.” Bucky snaps. “But I must. I must know what I did, what I did to all of you.”

“You don’t deserve to know those things, Bucky.” Steve lifts his hand, trying to touch Bucky for the first time after he died. Fighting against him does not classify as a friendly way of touching someone.

“I deserve it.” Bucky raises his eyes towards Steve’s. He stares deeply within them and Steve feels an urge to disappear from his own apartment.

Steve watches the despair, the confusion, the blame and the pain inside Bucky’s eyes. Inside his best friend, his brother, his longtime partner. He cannot stand that image. He cannot comprehend why a human being would do something this awful to another one. He cannot stand watching his best friend vanish into thin air because of the memories he desires so much.

“You don’t and I won’t help you.” Steve stands up. “You can leave.”  He points to the main door and moves his head smoothly.

“You are not you.” Bucky points out without moving an inch of his body. “You are not Steve.”

Steve moves his head to the left, swings his neck a couple of times and then, he faces Bucky. _She_ faces Bucky.

“Who are you?” Bucky asks as he watches the man he thought to be Steve’s disappear and turn into a blue skinned woman. “Who the hell are you?”

“That seems to be your favorite question, winter.” The woman smirks. Her smile seems threatening, showing half of her teeth and only smiling with half of her mouth.

She walks towards Bucky, moving her hips in a sensual way, showing off her blue scaled skin, walking naked in the middle of Steve’s living room. Her hair is red and her eyes yellowish, but as far as Bucky knows, she could be another of his nightmares. This could all be a nightmare.

He is too terrified to stand up and walk away from her. He is frozen. The Winter Soldier is frozen in front of the body of a blue naked woman. He wants to stand up and fight back, protect himself from whoever or whatever this creature is. But he can’t. Something is pushing him towards the coach. Something or maybe… Someone.

“You found him, Mystique.” A man’s voice comes from the back of Bucky’s ears. He wants to turn his neck and see who he is, but again, he can’t move.

“I told you I would. No one can escape from me.” The woman, Mystique, smirks.

“Now…” the man touches Bucky’s metal arm, he passes his hands over the red star painted on the shoulder and stays there for a while. “You have to come with us.”

Bucky can finally move his head, at least a bit, he twists it to observe the man’s features. A tall man wearing a reddish helmet, covering all his face, except for the eyes, mouth and nose. His eyes are teary and that just makes Bucky more confused.

“Who the hell are you?” Bucky insists with his question.

“The boy seems to have just one sentence in his brainless skull.” Mystique laughs. “Are you sure you want that in your team?”

“He will be useful.” The man’s voice sounds mysterious. “We are taking him.”

“Lucky us we’ve got you, cause I saw him fighting and hell, he’s strong.” Mystique informs. “Well, you’ve read the file about him.”

“Yes, I did.” He keeps passing his fingers all over Bucky’s body, from his metal arm to his other arm and now, his face. “He is handsome.” He smirks.

“No wonder the Cap is all in love with him. He hasn’t been able to forget about his precious Bucky Barnes since he lost him on the War and now that he knows he’s back, he won’t have him neither.” Mystique wanders around Steve’s apartment. She grabs something from one of the shelves, a photo frame. “Look, the perfect couple.”

“Mystique, we are here to work, not to gossip around.” The man says. His voice sounds serious and sharp.

“Yes, sir.” Mystique leaves the photo frame back on its position and goes back to the man, next to Bucky. “What can I do for you?”

“Watch my back while I get him out. I am sure he is not walking around without anyone checking on him.” The man grabs Bucky’s arm and pulls him out of the coach.

Bucky tries to move his other arm, he tries to let himself go of the mysterious man, but that seems to be worthless and a waste of time and energy. The man who is grabbing him is way stronger than Bucky is, he has some special force on him that drags down his.  

They walk out through the window, Bucky still trying to get rid of the man, in his own special way. He cannot move his left arm and that reduces him to nothing, his left arm is his most valuable weapon and his strongest point, without the arm he can’t fight properly and less against the man.

“Who the hell are you?” Bucky insists again.

“You are stubborn, aren’t you?” The man says, dragging him through the emergency stairs. “Brainless or not, you sure are a curious thing.”

“Who the hell are you?” Bucky asks again.

“You can call me Magneto.” The man smirks, proud of his own name, proud of what it means. “I am your new boss.”

A buzzing sound comes from the air and then a thunder. A hammer appears from the darkness of the night and hits Magneto on the helmet. Magneto’s force frees Bucky for a while and he jumps off the emergency stairs to the ground.

Bucky looks up to see what the hell happened but someone pushes him to the ground. Someone he knows. Someone familiar.

“I am done with watching people using you as their personal weapon.” The man who saved him says. Bucky cannot see who he is, but there is something in his voice that makes him feel better. “We are taking you somewhere safe.”

An helicopter is near the both of them. Bucky’s still on the mysterious man’s back, wrapping his arms around his shoulder, trying not to hurt him, though it’s quite impossible. Everything he touches ends up being destroyed and he knows whoever these people are, they will too.

“Steve, come on!” A woman’s voice coming from the helicopter.

 _Steve. Steve Rogers._ Something inside Bucky’s mind has lit up, something has given him the energy to move his hair from his face and observe this man.

“Where’s Tony?” Steve asks, shouting.

“He’s at the bunker, come on! We gotta leave now, the rest are coming and we are nothing against them.”

Bucky opens his eyes and sees a red head woman, wearing a tight black suit and carrying two guns on her hands. A black skinned man driving the helicopter and then, the light skinned blue eyed man who grabbed him from the ground.

“Steve…” Bucky mutters. He is about to lose his consciousness, but he still has to check something.

“I am with you, ‘till the end of the line.” Steve smiles and leans his hand over Bucky’s chest.

Bucky holds Steve’s hand and feels how his eyes begin to close as the Helicopter takes off.

 


	2. Allies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A war is coming and Bucky is starting to remember things, some of them are good but the bad are worse than he could ever imagine.

Chapter 2:

“How long has he been sleeping?” Natasha asks. Her voice sounds tired, but at the same time, full of hope.

“Almost two days.” Tony says, checking something on the computer. “God knows how long they kept him without taking a proper sleep.”

“Says the one who thinks sleeping is a waste of time.” Pepper says from the coach. “I am glad he’s getting some rest, though.”

“I just hope he doesn’t wake up with urges of killing us or something.” Tony shrugs.

“Tony!” Steve shouts. “He’s my best friend so watch your mouth.”

“Sorry, princess America.” Tony turns his face to Steve and winks at him.

Steve rolls his eyes and leaves Bucky’s side for a moment. He hasn’t slept that much since he took the most of Bucky’s guard. He watched carefully, worrying about his breathing, worrying about his unsteady movements, about his hands suddenly being tense in the middle of his sleep, about his legs shaking for God knows what reasons. He just couldn’t leave him, but he has to take care of himself too. How can he defend his best friend if he is not able to put up with a fight?

He prepares a protein milkshake. That’s the best and quickest thing to do in the bunker’s kitchen, which is actually bigger than what he thought at first.

Tony built the bunker with the help from Bruce. They both thought it would come handy once the war Thor warned us about started. And he is relieved to accept the crazy idea that the science brothers, as Clint likes to call them, came up with.

There is enough room for everyone, but all of them, even Loki, are in the living room watching out for Bucky, or for him. He still has doubts about whether they wanted to save Bucky for being Bucky or they wanted to save Bucky for his friend. One or the other, they saved him and he owns them his life.

“Steve!” Natasha shouts from the other side of the living room, next to Bucky’s bed.

Steve rushes back to Bucky at the sound of Natasha’s voice, leaving everything he was doing undone. He goes back to sit in the chair he has been sitting for two days, and holds Bucky’s hand tightly, hoping this time, he will wake up and see that there are people who care about him.

“The Winter Soldier…” Bucky mutters, though his voice doesn’t sound loud, everyone in the room can hear him clearly. “The Winter Soldier…” he repeats.

“No.” Steve says, holding his hand closer to his own heart. “Your name’s James Buchanan Barnes, Bucky.”

Bucky opens his eyes quickly as soon as he hears his name. Inside his eyes there’s a mix of emotions, but all of them make the rest of the room look like puppies. Even Natasha who went through hell has a better look in her eyes than Bucky does. Even Thor, even Tony. All of them seem the nicest happiest kids ever. But Bucky…

Bucky’s eyes are staring at the ceiling, tears running down his cheeks as if someone unplugged his emotion control. A storm of emotions is going on in his head and Steve can’t do nothing, but he wants to help. He hates to see how the hate arouses inside’s Bucky’s head without him telling anything to anyone. He hates to see how hate changes to rage and confusion at the same time. And how that confusion switches to pain and soar memories.

“Steve?” Bucky finally says, turning his head a bit towards Steve.

“Yeah, it’s me. I am here.” Steve says, leaning forward to him.

Natasha puts a hand over Steve’s shoulder and leans closer to his ear, “We’ll be right back. Guess you have a lot of things to talk about.”

Steve gives a nod to everyone staring at them, offering them the best smile made of gratitude. Steve never thought they would help him save Bucky, not after what he had done, he worked with the avengers before but they were just a team, not friends. Now, they are all a family and family helps out every member. And Steve needed a hand back there.

“How are you doing?” Steve asks, turning his face back to him.

“Good.” Bucky says without trace of emotions in his voice. “Who were those people back at your apartment? They wanted me.”

“They are like us, a bit different, but similar.” Steve says. He doesn’t know that much about them neither, Tony and Bruce are the ones who control this. They know everything about the mutants, all their profiles and their powers, but Steve decided not to hear more when he read that they were coming for Bucky.

“Why did they want me?” Bucky asks, he seems to want to look at Steve but at the same time, he avoids his eyes.

“Because you are…” Steve can’t say it. He doesn’t want to hurt Bucky. A damaged person is hard to recover but a double damaged person will never go back if you keep pushing him.

“Because I am the winter soldier.” Bucky says. Deception can be spotted in his voice. The only emotion that he has shown while talking.

“Yes.” Steve says, dropping his face. “But you are not that. You are a person first.”

“Why did you save me?” Bucky asks frowning down at Steve. “I tried to kill you several times.”

Steve sighs and chuckles. He knew Bucky would ask him that and he knew that the question would be like a hundred knives stabbed in his back.

“You are my best friend, Bucky.” Steve shakes his head. “When a friend needs help, I will help him. And you need my help, our help.”

“No.” Bucky says. “I deserve to die. I deserve to die. I deserve to die. I deser—.”

“Stop it.” Steve stands up and grabs Bucky’s shoulders to stop his words. “You don’t deserve that, you deserve life. You deserve to be your own man again, not just a toy soldier.”

“I don’t know if I want to remember.” Bucky says, letting go of Steve’s hands.

“I won’t push you. If you have questions, I’ll answer them. If you don’t want to ask anything, no one will force you. You are your own person before being someone else’s. You are Bucky.”

“Why do you care so much?” Bucky asks, sitting straight on the bed.

“I told you before and I will tell you until my words are inked in your brain.” Steve says. “You are my best friend, my only family. You are the only one who raised me from the ground when I needed a hand, the only one who loved me for who I am, for who I really am. You were the first one to shout my name at everything even though I was not the best. You stood for me when no one else did.”

“Was Bucky that man?” Bucky asks again.

“Yes.” Steve walks away from the bed. “And I know, deep in that tortured body of yours, Bucky is still there. Bucky wants to free himself from the Russian cage.”

“Come here.” Bucky says, but his voice sounds like an order. “Sorry for that tone. I just… I am not used to talking to people.”

Steve shakes his head because he doesn’t care. As long as Bucky is back, as long as what Bucky once was is back, he is okay. He wouldn’t care if Bucky jumped on him right now. He knew he’d come back some day. He knew he’d spare his life once again. Like he already did once.

“I want to try something.” Bucky says as he leaves some space for Steve on the bed. “It will be painful, but I have to do it.”

“What is it?” Steve asks, confused.

Bucky shakes his head, because he doesn’t want Steve to continue talking. He just wants to do the craziest thing ever, but that’s what his heart, his damaged heart is telling him to do. His brain is starting to fry him again, his brain is flashing him images of a time when Steve was thin and small, and when they seemed to be happy. His brain shows him images from a day where they watched Tony’s father showing a prototype of a flying car. He is starting to remember the double date he managed to do, and how that lady with the golden hair rejected Steve several times. How he could only think of Steve while he was walking with the brunette girl whose name he cannot remember. The small quantity of memories he’s starting to get back are just from Steve. From Steve falling a thousand times and from him helping him out a thousand million more.

“We weren’t just best friends.” Bucky mutters, but Steve can’t hear him.

Now, Bucky’s brain stops for a second. The sea of memories going on in his head stops and now, all he can think of is the man standing in front of him. He leans closer to Steve’s face, his eyes focusing on it as if that was the biggest gift he could ever receive for being next to him. He can feel his breath, unsteady and hectic, closer to his lips. The beating of his own heart, that for the first time seemed to be something more than just another organ, races all over his body, pumping blood faster than ever, heating up the body temperature as it never did before. The inches between both of their lips begin to lessen, but then, Steve gives the first step.

Steve tilts his head a bit as if that is something normal to him, as if doing this is just a memory, a recreation of a better past they once shared. He feels Bucky’s soar lips on him and he couldn’t feel safer. He thought he had lost Bucky forever on that train. He thought Bucky and him were over, forever. But now, now he’s back and Bucky wants this as much as he does.

Steve puts his hand on Bucky’s neck, as he used to do, because he enjoyed it. He lets his fingers play within his new long hair and pushes him closer. The distance between them doesn’t exist but yet, they both do whatever in their hands to be even closer.

Bucky wants to feel Steve’s skin again. But the fear of hurting him is bigger than the desire. The last time they were this close Bucky almost kills him and he doesn’t want to repeat that, not now that he is starting to remember what Steve means to him. He lays a hand over Steve’s chest and leaves it there, feeling the beating of his heart against his.

Yet, even though this is the most comfortable Bucky’s been for many years, something on his head pushes him away. He gently breaks the sweet moment between the both and stares at Steve’s eyes, joyful and chill. But Bucky’s are not like that. He may have recovered good memories, but it also gave him memories he wished he never got back.

“Everything okay?” Steve asks, caressing Bucky’s shoulders with both of his hands. “Buck?”

“We weren’t just friends.” Bucky says, holding back his tears. “But they, they…” Bucky chokes a sob.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” Steve wraps Bucky’s body between his arms, as he used to do when they were younger. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not. They will torture me again. They will, they are not letting me go. They are here too, they are coming for me and they will punish me for remembering, they will punish me again, again and I… I… I don’t want to be punished for remembering you because, no, no, please, don’t Steve, don’t let me go. Please, don’t let them catch me again, I don’t want, I don’t, I don’t…” Bucky starts to shake, his whole body trembles down between Steve’s arms.

“I am with you, Bucky, we are not alone this time.” Steve says with a sweet relaxed tone of voice. He needs to calm down Bucky before the team makes the report. “I will never let you go again.”

“But, but they will find me, they did. That Magneto guy found me the other day and if they find me, they’ll torture me again Steve and I don’t want that, I don’t.” Bucky’s still shaking and it makes Steve want to scream because he hates not to be able to help out.

“Look at me.” Steve says. “Look at me, Bucky.”

Bucky lifts his face towards Steve and stares at him in the eyes. The bluest eyes he’s ever seen.

“No one is going to take you from me again.” Steve says. “I will die before that happens.”

“Thank…” Bucky says, his shaking begins to slow down. “Thank you.”

“Now, I know this is going to break our perfect moment, but I really need you to calm down. I need the old Bucky here, the sergeant. I need your best qualities on the field right now.” Steve says. “I know it’s selfish to ask, but it’s going to be a shock and that’s why I need you to be tough. If you feel like you can’t control that much information, tell me and I’ll follow you to your private room.”

“You are scaring me, but okay, I’ll try my best.”

Steve jumps out of the bed and helps Bucky get down. He has slept for a long time and his energy is fully recovered, but he still has the need to keep an eye on him.

“Before I let them in, drink this.” Steve says as he grabs the milkshake he was preparing before. “You need to eat.”

“Thank you.” Bucky says, nodding with his head. He puts the straw between his lips and starts to drink the milkshake. “It’s good. Really good.” He says as he keeps drinking.

Steve wants to make a joke about it, but keeps it for himself. He just kissed Bucky, he just confessed that they were more than just friends. The last thing to add on his new-things-to-do is a joke he’d probably take days to understand.

They walk towards the table in the living room and Steve offers Bucky a seat. He gently takes the chair and sits there, still drinking the milkshake. Steve opens the door and finds everyone standing next to it, as if they were spying on the conversation.

“Had a good time, huh?” Tony says as he walks inside, tapping Steve’s shoulder.

All of them except Sam and Natasha get inside the living room and sit around Bucky. Sam is still standing in the hallway, staring at Steve and Natasha is in front of him, her eyes full of worry.

“You sure this is the best for him?” Natasha asks. “It was inappropriate for us to spy on you but we couldn’t just leave our Cap alone with a murderer.”

“I wasn’t expecting less from you.” Steve says, chuckling. “It’ll be okay.”

“He seems pretty damaged, dude.” Sam says, walking towards him. “If he shuts down, we will lose him, you will lose him again and I don’t think you can live with that.”

“I am with Wilson in this, Steve.” Natasha says. “He is starting to remember things from your past, but what will happen when he remembers the other stuff? When he remembers the murders, the deaths, the tortures?”

Steve looks at Natasha. She is sincerely worried about Steve and even about Bucky. They both started a healthy friendship when the avengers reunited for the first time and she doesn’t want to lose her best mate, and he doesn’t want to lose her neither.

“He remembers the tortures.” Steve says, his voice full of sorrow. “I am sure of that. You heard him, how he started to panic when we, you know.”

“When you two kissed, yeah.” Sam says, chuckling. “We are going to help him but please, don’t push things way too much. Don’t start being like Nat and Clint, please. I can’t stand another one of those.”

“Excuse me?” Natasha turns her face towards Sam. “Like Nat and Clint?”

“Just joking, sweetheart.” Sam says and he puts his arms around both Nat and Steve. “Forget about that, we have things to do.”

The three of them walk inside the living room, closing the door in their backs. They sit on the chairs, Natasha between Clint and Bucky, Steve next to Bucky and Sam next to Steve and Bruce. Tony is standing in front of a projector with some images on it.

“We have a situation, my friends.” Tony says. “You have read the files about the mutants, right?”

“Yes.” All of them, except Bucky and Steve answer.

“I’ll forgive the new couple for this time.” Tony says, raising his eyebrows. “Read it when you can, please.”

Steve and Bucky nod at the same time. It’s what they are used to do, receive and proceed with their orders. They are, after all, soldiers.

“Now, going back to the screen, we have two major problems.” He points towards the screen. “Magneto and Mystique. They are coming for us. They want to destroy any threat that’s kind of ‘out of this world’. They want to, how should Isay this…”

“They want to control the world.” Pepper says, finishing her husband’s sentence. “And we are one of their main obstacles.”

“DO we have any allies?” Steve asks.

“Us.” A man’s voice comes from the back of Steve.

The whole table turns around to see who he is and surprise comes as they observe the pack of people who just entered the room.

“My dear friends, I introduce you to the other side of the mutant coin, Professor X and his team.” Tony says as he walks towards the group of people who entered the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I screwed up with something, don't hesitate to tell me :)


	3. Nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I know it's been a long time since I posted the last chapter but I am finally back and I will finish this!
> 
> This is a catch up chapter, a little bit of sour stuff but it's neutral :)
> 
> I hope you enjoy it!

 “You brought the x-men?” Natasha says, cocking her head to the side, observing the group of mutants that just entered Tony’s living room.

Steve puts his hand over Bucky’s thigh. A sign. He doesn’t have to be afraid. He just has to trust Steve in this. People are trying to hurt him, and he is not going to let them do that. He finally has Bucky on his side and not even a thousand mutants will take him away.

“If we are going to fight against mutants, we will need their help.” Tony explains, shrugging. “Plus, Hank McCoy here is going to help with Bucky’s arm.”

“Hi, I am Hank.” A guy appears from within the group. Tall, wide-shoulders and hairy. Very hairy. Blue hairy.

“Shit, you are the Beast!” Barton shouts, jumping out of his chair and running towards Hank. “I heard about you a lot, you are a genius.”

“Ah…” Hank offers Barton his hand while nodding with his head like a shy 5 year old boy. “Thank you a lot. You are?”

“Barton, Clint Barton aka Hawkeye.” Barton says, smiling like a ray of sunshine.

“I think we should all introduce ourselves.” Steve says, standing up. He has noticed Bucky shivering a couple of times since the mutants arrived, so he has decided to do something about it. If Bucky sees them as a threat, he’ll attack and that’s the last thing they want. More mutants against them.

“Great idea.” Professor X says, wheeling towards the table. “My name’s Charles Xavier and you may know me as Professor X.”

“I’m Logan, wolverine.” A tall man appears from behind Professor X. He’s wearing a yellow and brown plaid shirt.

“I like your hair.” Steve says, raising his eyebrows. “Really.”

“Old-style granddaddies.” Tony says, mockingly. “Who’s next?”

“Orore, Storm.” A white-hair lady makes a step forward. She is not wearing any cape or anything, just the normal jeans and white shirt with mountain boots.

“Scott Summers.” A man wearing some special glasses waves toward the group, he makes a gentle nod and smiles. “Cy--.”

“You are the laser dude, right?” Natasha says, smirking. “Tony can figure something out with your eyes if you want.” She cocks her head towards Tony. “Am I right, Stark?”

“With a little bit of help, yeah, I may.”

“I can help.” Another new voice comes from the other side of the room. A boy. Probably eighteen years old, not much older. Followed by a blonde girl, the two of them very young. Way too young to be in this room, to be talking about a war. “Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy. Pepper let us in.”

“Oh, hi! I have been waiting for this moment since forever.” Tony dashes towards the new members of the crew. “This is Spider-man, just in case you don’t recognize him.”

“Spider-man? What? Really? You brought him in?” Steve says, slamming a hand over the table. “What did we say about not bringing younger people?”

“I am sorry, okay? We need all the hands available. I am so sorry, cap. But if we are preparing to fight both HYDRA and evil mutants, we cannot have the privilege of excluding people because of their age.” Tony admits. His face seems troubled, tony didn’t want this either, but this is not a game.

“Sorry, I didn’t want to cause any trouble.” Peter says, raising his hands to apology. “But I can take care of myself. You don’t need to worry. I have been kicking criminals’ asses for almost two years and I am good.” He smiles, jokingly.

He looks like a nice guy, and so does his friend. Gwen. But Steve does not want to carry any more deaths on his shoulders. He carried Bucky’s for all this time and it didn’t do any good to him.

“Trust them.” Bucky whispers only for Steve to hear it. “Like you always trusted me.”

Steve looks down to Bucky and sighs. He is tired of fighting, and tired of war. He wants to live in a quiet place deep in the woods, but he is always surrounded by the endless wars that humans, mutants or not, super-soldiers or not, are creating. He loves humanity but they are always giving him reasons not to love them anymore.

And he is just too tired.

“Okay, you can stay but you stay safe. Who’s next on the mutant list?” Steve says, laying back on his chair.

“Bobby Drake and Kitty Pryde.” Two young mutants come forward. “We are as young as they are but we’ll be okay too.” The girl says, pointing towards Spiderman and his friend.

“There will be more mutants coming within the next week. We will help you with everything we can and we will help you find Erik and Raven.” Charles says, dropping a pen drive over the desk. “That’s all the information I have gathered about them for the last year.  It’s not much, but it’s all we’ve got. They know how to erase their movements and it’s not easy to track them.”

“What are we exactly dealing with?” Bucky says, cold and sharply. He has grabbed the pen drive faster than anyone in the room and it’s already inside the laptop in front of him.

Steve knows that calling him Bucky at the moment is not the best. He is not Bucky, right now, he is the Winter Soldier tracking his enemies. And he is lethal in that mood.

“Erik Lehnsherr, he is a good friend but he has not had a gentle life. He suffered a lot and that turned him into making decisions that are not for the good of anyone. But him.” Charles answers, a touch of sadness in his voice.

“What can he do?” Bucky asks again, ignoring the background of Erik.

“He can control metal.” Charles answers, this time more directly.

“He can what?” Tony says, blinking.

“Yes, you are out of this fight Tony.” Natasha says, winking at him. “You are not useful without your suit in the battle field.”

“That sucks man.” Tony says, shaking his head.

“What about the other?” Bucky keeps asking. “The one who was like Steve?”

“She…” Charles begins to say, but he closes his eyes for a second before proceeding. He has suffered a lot too. He is still young, but there is something about his face that makes him look older. As if his energy was dragged out of him. “She can turn into anything.”

“Shape-shifter? She is a god damned shape-shifter?” Sam says, surprised.

“Yes, she is.” Charles answers, his voice cracking in the middle of his words.

“Holy shit.” Sam answers, even more surprised.

“Focus, Sam. Please.” Natasha says, grinning her teeth to him. “We should try to relax okay? Yes, we are fighting things that are probably worse than aliens and stuff, but we are not going to lose okay? First, we need to know why they want him.” She points towards Bucky. “Any idea?”

“He’s a super soldier?” Sam says.

“He is a weapon?” Tony bursts in.

“Lethal-man?” Barton joins.

“He can be easily manipulated.” Bruce joins too.

“достаточно.” Bucky grins, shaking on his chair. “I don’t care what they want me for. HYDRA wants me too. They only want me because I am a killing machine. There is no need to go further on that topic.” He stands up and points to his chest. “I was Bucky Barnes. Now I am The Winter Soldier. No one wants me for who I was, they only want me to kill people. If there is a war, I am the winning prize. The weapon they all want. Mutants, humans. It doesn’t matter. Yes, the guy can control metal and the other girl can turn into Steve, but HYDRA is bad too. They will all come for me and I will just, again, hurt the people I think I have to love and trust.” He grabs the laptop and walks away from the table, heading to the door. “I do not want that. or at least, Bucky Barnes would not want that.”

“Buc--.” Steve says, ready to follow him.

“Don’t.” Natasha puts a hand over his shoulder. “He needs time. He went to your apartment. Found a girl who looked like you, he was almost kidnapped. We drag him here, you kissed. Memories flashing in his damaged brain and now we tell him that both HYDRA and the mutants want to use him to achieve their let’s rule the world plan?” Nat shakes her head. “That’s a lot to digest, Steve. Give him some time.”

Steve nods, but he still doesn’t want to leave him alone. Time is what they lost. They had all the time in their hands but a war got in the middle. And now that he is back and they can finally retrieve all that time… there is another war and he is the prize they all want.

“May I be excused?” Steve says, looking towards the door.

“Sure.” Tony says, nodding to Natasha who was just about to say something. “We will update you later.”

“Thanks, Tony.” Steve says, walking away. “Nice to meet you.”

Steve walks through the door and to his room. If there is one thing he’s grateful for, is Tony’s bunker. They can be safe here and it’s impossible for someone to track them. Or so does Tony say.

He needs to be alone. Not exactly alone. But he can’t be with Bucky now, so he just goes to his room, ignoring Bucky’s when he walks before his door.

He opens the door and sees a figure sitting on the edge of the bed. He turns the lights on and sees Bucky. His head sank between his hands, shivering.

“Hey, Buck.” Steve closes the door behind and kneels in front of him. “Everything okay, pal?”

“I want to remember, you know? I want to know what we used to do, and what we used to feel. The kiss triggered memories, but that does not mean I remembered everything. I forgot my past life and the only thing I seem to remember is who I am now. A killer.”

“You were controlled by HYDRA, Bucky. That was not you. You didn’t want to do those things.” Steve caresses Bucky’s left arm. Touching the cold metal as if that would make him any good.

“That does not change the fact that the only thing that describes me now is k--.”

But before Bucky can manage to vocalize that word, Steve shuts him down with a kiss. Different than the first one they had this morning, different than all the other kisses they’ve shared over the years.

This one tastes like a sour memory. A hellish nightmare that ends up with a gentle surprise. A nightmare that becomes sweet at the end because you can, actually, wake up from it. And that’s what their life is going to be now.

They were living a nightmare and they are, painfully, approaching to the wake up.


End file.
